Shortie: That Late Night Alcoholic

Above: Craig Ferguson on his February 20, 2007 Telecast.

"IT'S A GREAT DAY FOR AMERICA."

... is exactly the way Craig Ferguson starts every single monologue.

There was a lot of hustle and bustle going on with late night TV shows at the time I wrote this entry (such as O'Brien overtaking Leno on The Tonight Show to Letterman's feud over sexual relations), but it reminded me to get connected again to one of the late night show hosts who gets my profound respect, and that's Mr. Craig Ferguson. I knew him from his previous stint on The Drew Carey Show as Carey's boss (his catchphrase: Carey, You're Fired!), but when he stepped up to The Late Late Show, I became a huge fan of his. What's most striking to me about him is how down-to-earth he is to his audience. Hence, when he has to strike up a serious point, he hits a home run, such as in his clip above.

In the monologue I attached, Ferguson tells the audience a few stories of his old alcoholic days and after a turning point, he turned sober... and has stayed that way for fifteen years. However, what got my mind thinking was his perspective on what the concept of an alcoholic really is, referring to the issue as "a thinking problem" and saying it doesn't end when counseling is over. In med school, we learn about the numerous effects of alcohol. Contrary to what many of us learned probably in middle school health class - it does much more than just damage the brain, with various systemic side effects like nutritional deficiencies, anemias, even liver damage (that itself opening up a potload of other effects). As doctors it would seem easy for us to use health-scare tactics say to other alcoholics, "Let's not have this happen to you. Don't drink." Ferguson says there's much more to that.

To me, it reminds me that no matter how much knowledge we have about the human body, it can only go so far. As doctors, we need to utilize our communication skills and our ability to build rapport with our patients to take care of their spirit. Body and mind do go together. We just can't forget about the latter, even though our minds are crammed with information from the former.

And with that, cheers to Mr. Ferguson for keeping his thinking straight for such a long time. With that accomplishment, I think, to him, every day that comes is a great one.

Shortie: Tuba Player

Top: One of the jazz greats, Louis Armstrong. Image found via Google Images.
Bottom: A CT scan of a kid with Parotitis. From the New England Journal of Medicine.

One of the biggest figures I associate with jazz during the 20th century is Louis Armstrong. Known for his quite exquisite trumpet playing and great scatting, I've actually associated him with another distinctive visual quality:

BIG CHEEKS.

February 2009. I remember logging into the New England Journal of Medicine website to start to see what the world of truly revolutionary science could be. I came across that day an article with a title was simple (at least more simple than I'd expect from a medical journal): A Tuba Player with Air in the Parotid Gland. Keeping it simple, the parotid gland is one of the glands that's critical for producing your saliva in your mouth.

When playing the tuba, one of life's truest physical properties comes true: If something gets trapped, it needs a way out. Playing the tuba requires physical air pressure in your mouth to get the instrument to play. However, because 1) blowing against a tuba (or other wind instrument) creates air resistance, and 2) Your body has locked the air in the oral cavity (keeping it simple again, your mouth), there's only one other way for that air to go... the force to play that instrument actually flies down the tubes that connect your mouth to the glands that produce saliva. The scientific name of this phenomenon is: pneumoparotid.

With the origin of the name including that for "air" (pneumo-), this diagnosis stays true to its name. The air that gets blown into those glands gets trapped, resulting in enlargement of the glands, with enlargements appearing around the point where your jaw pivots to open: the place that the glands are located.

Hence: Big Cheeks.

Folks, I guess I can come to this conclusion: If your kid can't play the tuba, your kid might be able to pull off the look.

Source: Mukundan, J. and O. Jenkins. 2009. A Tuba Player with Air in the Parotid Gland. New England Journal of Medicine Vol 360. p.710.